Angle down icon An icon in the shape of a downward pointing corner. Grace Ryu often takes selfies with her father when they meet at work in the same hospital. Thanks to Grace Ryu
- Grace Ryu helped her 60-year-old father get a job at her workplace when he retired as a business owner.
- Ryu stood up for her father and sat next to him during his Zoom job interview to translate.
- It’s the first time her father has health insurance through an employer and a 401(k) pension fund.
My father owned a variety of businesses. We grew up in Maryland, where he owned a mini-mart in downtown Baltimore. A lot of Koreans owned liquor stores and mini-marts in the 90s, and when my father talks about that business, he says those were the good days when he made a lot of money.
He worked every day from Sunday through Saturday, only taking one weekend off in the summer when we went on a family trip to Ocean City. He even worked every holiday.
Because he worked a lot, I don’t have many childhood memories of him. But I do remember him going into his room every night after work, taking out all the money he had earned that day, and counting it all out for dinner. I thought, “Wow, my dad is so rich.”
Ryu with her father as a child. Thanks to Grace Ryu
My mom told me that he works so hard so he can provide for our entire family, including our grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Of course, I didn’t understand what a burden that was at the time — I was only 6 — but I just knew that whatever my dad did was super important.
My father owned many businesses
My dad moved us from Baltimore to California in 2001 for better business opportunities when I was 9 years old, but it was harder here than in Maryland. He owned a dry cleaner for a few years, but that was a bigger struggle than owning a mini-mart, with more work and less income.
Eventually, with the help of his brother, he moved on to running a small delicatessen. He did this, along with my mother, for 16 years. My father operated the grill and cooked the hot dishes, while my mother took the customers’ orders and packed the food.
In 2021, just after the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, their lease was up. They had two options: either renew for another five years or sell the business and find something else to do.
My parents decided to sell because I was pregnant and they wanted to be close to their future grandchildren.
I have stood in for my father at work
My father told me that he still wanted to work after he sold the lease. He wasn’t ready to retire — mostly for financial reasons.
He talked about working with my cousin in a dental lab or transporting elderly people, but those jobs would require him to either learn a whole new skill or get some kind of license. He’s been in the food industry for 16 years, and while my dad is sharp for a 60-year-old, I didn’t think a big career change was the right move for him.
Then I thought he could get a job in the kitchen of the hospital where I worked. I spoke to the food service manager at my hospital and asked if they would give my father a job in the kitchen. I vouched for my father and explained to the manager the different skills he had acquired from owning all of his businesses.
Whatever I said, it worked because my dad got the job. He had a formal Zoom interview, which I attended to help with translation. We were excited: the job had benefits, so for the first time, my dad got health insurance through an employer and signed up for a 401(k).
In the beginning it was a challenge to help my father at work
As excited as we were for him to get the job, the onboarding was a beast. He’s been living in America for 36 years, but his English was barely at a basic reading level. This was largely because my mother did most of the administrative work when it came to the company. She was the one who talked to the customers, suppliers, and inspectors, while my father hid in the back, cleaned, and did whatever my mother asked him to do.
Ryu’s mother and father stand in front of their deli in California. Thanks to Grace Ryu
A big part of me was relieved that I was around to help him if he had questions, since I knew the hospital and how it worked. I knew that helping my dad navigate the hospital system would be no problem, but being the middleman between him and others was difficult.
The language barrier was one thing, but the other challenge was his unfamiliarity with modern technology. He has never owned or used a computer in his life and struggles to even use his smartphone.
I had to fill out all of his onboarding paperwork because it was all online, and he couldn’t be used for some of the easier tasks like taking patient orders or doing administrative work. He was put in the kitchen, dishing up patient trays for meals and washing dishes.
He wanted to quit after a few days
Working in the hospital was the first time my father had a boss other than himself, and I think he may have felt looked down upon because of it. Many traditional Korean men take pride in owning their own business and making a lot of money.
The first few days on the job were the hardest for my father, so hard that he wanted to quit. The language barrier, the cultural differences and the technological illiteracy were all too much for him to handle.
I never pressured him to stay because I knew this job would be a challenge for him. I told him I would support him if he decided to leave, but I hoped he would stay so I could help him with any problems that came his way since we were in the same building.
It took him two months to feel comfortable with his job, and now he absolutely loves it. In fact, he likes his job so much that he works extra shifts. He’s learned more English so he can express his concerns and ask questions to his supervisor, and he’s always so excited to introduce me to his coworkers, even though he’s introduced them to me before.
I like working with my father
Whenever I work the same day as my dad, I like to visit him in the kitchen. One day, as I was walking outside, I looked back and saw my dad doing the dishes—and I wanted to cry. He was soaking wet, and it broke my heart to see him doing such a hard and thankless task. The only reason I knew my dad was okay was because of the way he looks when he works: he always smiles with such enthusiasm and joy.
In the 30 years I’ve watched him work, his attitude and work ethic have never wavered. Whether he’s grocery shopping, ironing clothes in 100 degrees, or making a big order of 100 breakfast burritos at 4am, he never complains. He taught me to enjoy everything, especially at work.
Ryu and her father take a selfie. Thanks to Grace Ryu
I love the days when I can take breaks with my dad. We sit in the cafeteria and talk about how work is going, if there are things he wants me to do, or our family dinner plans. Ever since my dad started working with me, I’ve been documenting our time together. I always want to film myself watching him at work.
People at the hospital probably think I’m crazy for taking selfies with my dad and filming myself saying hello, but honestly I don’t care because I’m so proud of him. He’s my role model and the hardest working, happiest person I know. I love working with my dad.
Grace Ryu is a registered nurse who is also studying to become a family nurse practitioner. She is a wife and new mother and enjoys spending time with her family in her free time.
If you work with your parent or child and would like to share your story, email Manseen Logan at [email protected].
