Although it has recently been put ‘on pause’, Martha’s Vineyard Summer House became a sensation on reality TV channels, giving fans a behind-the-scenes look at the cast as they strive for excellence in their careers and relationships.
Out got the chance to chat with cast member, the esteemed Preston Mitchum, about his upcoming wedding, the show’s second season reunion, and the pressures of being one of the few openly gay men to work as a series regular on the Bravo network.
Mitchum has so many layers! Not only is he a reality TV star, he’s also a lawyer, an activist, and a fiancé. He and his partner Donald announced their engagement earlier this year in April and fans have been obsessed ever since. So we got all the wedding details (and more tea) from the groom himself!
Out: I want to talk about the wedding. Is there anything you can tell us? Are you going big or small, are you going for a destination? Give us the details!
Preston Mitchum: I’ll give you some details. So right now we’re definitely going big, probably somewhere between 180 and 220. That’s the magic number right now. Look at this point, everyone is a price per plate, so it depends on that because it’s going to be in Washington, DC, which is not the cheapest place and the venues are certainly not the cheapest. So maybe a museum route, maybe a nice hotel route, but still deciding at that moment. But yeah, definitely a big luxury. Think luxury, whatever that looks and feels like in your head. We want a black tie wedding, and so those are the things. It’s funny, the biggest thing we’ve done right now is think about the date, if you don’t have the venue, obviously you don’t really have a date, but it’s probably October 2025. And we’re talking to all the wedding planners right now, so we’re really in the middle of interviewing wedding planners.
I’m glad to see you on Martha’s Vineyard. I think you have an incredible ability to stay neutral, which is really hard on any Bravo show. You always stay in a respectful little bubble, even if you’re fighting with someone at the time. So I’m wondering how you deal with that?
I think in many ways it’s just second nature. I’m not going to say that I always get it right. I’m a lawyer and part of being a lawyer… another thing that we call ourselves is “counselors,” right? Counselors of law, yes, but counselors. And so you have to listen to multiple sides. You have to listen to multiple people. And it may not mean that I agree with both people or multiple sides, and if I don’t, I’ll tell you something like, “Hey, I think you’re in the wrong here.” And so sometimes it’s a little bit more challenging than other times, especially when people think you’re more dependent on certain friendships than others. But I have the ability to tell everyone here that they’re wrong. That’s how I was raised. That’s what I believe in. That’s the nature of advocacy. You’re able to actually say, “What’s the purpose here?” Because that’s not going to get us to the goal. And most cast members will tell you that. They’ll send me something like: “I’m so angry. I’m going to send this message to someone.” And I’m like, “What does that get you? Let’s go back and take a look.” But sometimes it feels natural and normal.
I will say that it is also a burden. It’s not lost on me that everyone expects me to be this emotional center, this core, this elder statesman, as one cast member described it. And they all say that it’s a positive thing, and thank you for that. But I think it is a burden, especially when I happen to be the only queer person in the house. It just feels incredibly unfair that the vast majority of the cast is not checking in on me, not looking at me, not asking me questions about my personal life. Because sometimes people just see homosexuality as sex and sexuality, when it’s culture, it’s community, it’s experiential. And so it’s kind of hypocritical and contradictory when I hear people say, “You are the elderly explanation, the center, the core. I see you as the neutral party.” But I’m like, ‘Well, why don’t you guys come and check on me?’ Because then you’re going to see things burn. Then you’re going to see friendships shift and change, because that’s what happens when it feels like things become one-sided instead of actual non-transactional, very genuine relationship building.
I find it really strange, Andy Cohen is a gay man. He has exploded this network in every way possible, and yet the network in general has a huge lack of queer people. So my question is, is there any pressure to keep it going and try to get more people and more of the community involved in this network?
100 percent. Listen, I never want to be the only person in the room. I’ve had moments, unfortunately, where I think some queer people do. It seems exceptional in a lot of ways. That never felt comfortable to me. I always want everyone to eat, as I say. And so there’s an opportunity and a space for all of us to be present and to be seen. I honestly often find it disheartening that there’s not a lot of queer people on Bravo. The unfortunate reality, I think, is because it’s hard Real housewives dominated, it doesn’t leave room for non-Housewives stuff to really become popular. And that’s when you can actually include a lot more queer people. But unfortunately we continue to see the presence of stuff, and this is not a disrespect to those shows, but Vanderpump Ruleseven Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard, Summer house, The valleyyou name them, right? Southern hospitality, Southern charmThey may have a fraction of a percentage of queer presence. And that makes it discouraging, right? Because that pressure is even more pressure. It’s easy to become a caricature when people only see one to three people who are openly queer or openly queer. And then it goes, “Oh, that’s how gays act.” And it’s like, well, that’s just the way it is That queer person behaves. Just like all those heterosexual people, with the ability to expand the spectrum and be seen as multidimensional, we are multidimensional. And when you have so few of us, it’s easier to pigeonhole us, to make us one-dimensional, to make us caricatures of the entire community.
Let’s talk Martha’s Vineyard because the reunion… I don’t know if it was because it was a part, it felt like there was a lot that wasn’t said. Is there anything for you that maybe made you walk away from the reunion and you felt like it wasn’t addressed or maybe it wasn’t discussed or there was something that you were hoping for that maybe was missed?
Yeah, I have a couple things about that. First of all, the reality is that we have to deal with things right away because we’re away for 15 days. And so it’s like you have such a short amount of time, even though the days are long, which is why I always joked with Bria and said, sit down. Because even though it is reality, it’s more like a reality TV show. So the truth is, we’re filming. And so it’s like you can’t walk away from any conflict because it’s the filming process and the opportunity to have a conversation.
There were a lot of things that were left out, and that’s what I can say. So I think part of it was that, honestly, we needed more than one part, because even when I watched it back, I was incredibly disappointed, just because I was completely transparent that this is how it went. There were so many stories being told, there were so many opportunities to clarify statements. There were so many opportunities to clarify conversations about why certain people weren’t talking to Jasmine in particular. Because the truth is, I get really tired of it, and this can be traumatic, but this is what I learned from my therapist. I get really tired of not trusting people when they’re trying to be territorial. When it comes to friendships and loyalty, I don’t trust it. I think there’s a lot of control that’s rooted in that. And I don’t have controlling friends. Secondly, I feel like all of my relationships, romantic or otherwise, become controlling or this really distorted sense of territoriality. I left because it’s not healthy for me, and honestly, it’s not healthy at all. And for me, that’s part of it. And I think with reality TV, too, there’s a lot of things that are said off-camera that are not true. Some of the things that are done are intentional by some of the cast, to be honest, because they know that it’s harder to work back into the storyline. And so there were a lot of things that happened off-camera, like someone calling production for a tweet and different things that maybe for me, the audience, I don’t understand because I don’t have the opportunity to tell this story in its entirety. But I don’t have a problem with it. I don’t have a problem with knowing the truth, and I don’t have a problem with a friendship ending.
One thing I’ve come to accept a long time ago is my voice, my center, and again, looking back at some of my experiences, while they’re beautiful and I appreciate them, most people didn’t look at me very often. And the people who did, the people that I continue to build relationships with and let them flourish, the ones that I may have known going in that you could see a relationship break up, it’s because that friendship that they said we had clearly wasn’t there, but their interactions with me over time.
Heidi Gutman/Bravo
Now that the dust has settled and the reunions are over and it is what it is, who do you still keep your friendship with? Who do you know you’ll take with you into the next chapter of your life?
Honestly, most of them, to be honest. I’ve always had a great relationship with the vast majority of the cast. Jordan Summer, I’m going to see Summer in Miami in a couple months. We’re going on a birthday trip. Nick, I see Nick a lot when I’m in New York. Jordan again, I see him a lot when I’m in New York. Alex, I was talking to Shanice yesterday, Noelle, actually. I was talking to Bria yesterday. So the vast majority of them, I’m always going to get along. There’s always been ebbs and flows with, like, me and Bria’s relationship. But it’s so interesting because I’ve really, really liked Bria, honestly. There are times when I’m like, “Oh, you’re getting on my nerves,” right? But I’ve learned to really appreciate her in the sense that I know that’s who she is and I would rather have someone that I disagree with because of who we both are than someone that feels incredibly overproduced or inauthentic. And that’s not what Bria is.
You are incredible and we were so happy to talk to you. Is there anything else you want to say? Out?
So first of all, thank you Out fans, viewers, readers and listeners. Go to prestonmitchum.com to learn more about me and all my stuff. If you want some cool merchandise go to prestonmitchum.com/shop. You’ll see all the quotes from Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard. Some of my seedy and trashy, some of my memes. You’ll also see some merch from my consulting company, PDM Consulting.
although Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard is currently on hiatus, we can’t wait to see Mitchum back on our screens. There’s no doubt he’s a force to be reckoned with and he’s not going anywhere, so we’ll be sitting down for the wedding of the year! The first two seasons of Summer House: Martha’s Vineyard are streaming on Peacock.
